Summary of The Bart Book

I will name some items you might want so here it is.

Mutant Melodies All together now! A one, and a two, and a...
We Have No School Today (to the tune of "Ta-Ra-Ra-Boom-Dee-Ay")
We have no school today! It is some holiday!
I don't know which, per se.
But who cares, anyway?!
Show & Tell (to the tune of "Jingle Bells")
Show and Tell! Show and Tell!
Objects on display.
Oh, how dull it is to see
your Grandpa's old toupee-ee!

Show and Tell! Show and Tell!
Ashtrays made of clay.
A rusty crank from a broken bank
and a fat pet cat named Ray.

One day Nelson Muntz
brought in a bee hive,
opened it to find
the bees were still alive! (Ow, ow, ow!)

Spoiled Martin Prince
showed off his Monet.
When it slipped and ripped in two
he cried and ran away!

Oh...
Show and Tell! Show and Tell!
(etc., repeat and nauseam)
The Battle Hymn of the Blackboard (to the tune of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic")
My hands were on the gradebook where the
students' marks are stored.
The teacher burst upon the scene.
"Put down the book!" she roared.
Now I'm writing out these words one hundred
times on the blackboard:
"I will not steal gradebooks."
Man, this task is disconcertin'.
Ow, my writing hand is hurin'.
There is one thing that is certain:
I will not steal gradebooks.
I've Been Working On My Homework (to the tune of "I've Been Working on the Railroad")
I've been working on my homework, while I watch TV.
I've been working on my homework, while I skateboard down the street.
Can't you hear the teacher calling,
"Your book report is due!"
"Here it is," I calmly answer, "All in one sentence, too."
"Here's my book report, here's my book report for you-ou-ou.
"Here's my book report, here's my book report,
All in one sentence, too."
Annoy, Annoy, Annoy, Your Teacher (to the tune of "Row, Row, Row, Your Boat")
Annoy, Annoy, Annoy, your teacher
By yelling her first name.
Emily! Emily! Emily! Emily!
You'll drive her insane.
The Super-Stretch Waistband (to the tune of "The Star-Spangled Banner")
Oh, say, can you see,
through the trees over there,
what so proudly we pulled
up the flagpole last Friday,
from the locker room grabbed,
leaving someone's butt bare,
when we fed the flag rope
through the
brand name tag sideways?

Up there blowing around,
a stretch waistband its crown,
you would think that by now,
they'd have taken it down.

Oh, say, does that underwear
still flap in the breeze,
o'er the classrooms, the schoolyard,
the parking lot and the trees?!